To You I belong
Is it going to be the comfort of lingering cigarette smoke
Or the way our discarded shoes point in different directions
that will give me strength?
Will the blue mug brewing yesterday’s tea on the worktop
and the teaspoon you said takes the heat away
Still warm me to my core?
The disfigured toothbrush I told you needs changing,
And your unworking watch with it’s cruel hands,
Stare at me intently when I wonder what to do with them
God did tell us we are like garments to one another
So today I am wearing six of your tops,
Carrying all of you with me
Like the time you lifted me and my muddy wellies out of that ditch once
I needed to tell you that
the heavy rug has moved and that paint stain you caused,
when we decorated this place together,
peeps at me like a great aubergine eye.
I sit on different sofas and watch it weep
Oh and the bed still smells of your scent.
I have decided to keep it that way,
Half expecting to hear your faint snores
or see your rising shape under the covers
as I linger in the doorway of our room.
I never thought you would become memories
That I’d have to find comfort in a shrine of truths?
‘Is this where strength and warmth are buried?’
And they whisper,
‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raajioon’